The past two weeks at school have been tough...stressed out about finding a job and dealing with my little sister from Cabrini. I've felt off and I was unable to understand why I was experiencing this inner turmoil and discontent.
Today, I went to study with a friend, but we never got to our homework. Instead we spent over an hour talking and enouraging one another. As we shared about what God is doing in our lives and how He has changed us so much from the people we were at the beginning of freshmen year, I slowly began to realize what the problem was...I had lost sight of God's awesome love and His perfect plan for me! The stress and uncertainty of life from the new girls on my floor, the new brother floor, new classes, and no job drove me to attempt to regain control of my life from God. This planted discontent, turmoil, and unhappiness in my heart. Each day I resisted the Lord, the more these negative attitudes grew and flourished inside of me.
But today, the Lord came in and weeded the garden of my heart! He reminded me no matter how hard I tried, my life will never be my own to control. He created me for His specific purpose here on earth and there is nothing I can do to thwart His plan. He has blessed me so much in ways I never could have comprehended! Why do I continue to resist?
This friend is one of those people who, after talking to them, inspires you to get in the Word and make things right with Lord. When I got back to my room, I sat down and opened to the book of Proverbs. Though my heart was already filled with joy at the answer God had shown me, He wasn't finished filling me. Near the end of Proverbs 4, I read these verses....
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious speech far from you. Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn from the right or to the left..."
- Proverbs 4:23-27
You see, while I was talking to my friend, I explained to her that I viewed each moment, each day as a gift from God and that I needed to keep my eyes fixed on Christ. Then He led me to these verses, which state the point I was trying to make! God is good! He knows me so well, He used this passage to drive home the point!
So these verses are my theme verse. No longer will my heart be ruled by discontent and turmoil. God is and always will be in control of my life. I know I will continue to struggle with this issue, but I will always remember the moment he cleared me heart to see His Sovereign plan through all of the changes in my life!
Praising the Lord for His wonderful timing,
Briana
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
The Excitement of it all!
Another reason I love the beginning of a new year at Moody is the renewed passion for the Lord's work not only in my life and the lives of my friends, but His work in the city as well. Tonight we had a meeting for the Big Brother Big Sister program that reaches out to kids living in the local low-income housing projects known as Cabrini Green. Not only am I a Big Sister, I'm doing my Practical Christian Ministry in the after school program offered in Cabrini Green.
I've always loved working with kids who live in rough circumstances. Last year, the Lord ignited a passion in my heart for the kids of Cabrini Green. Tears come to my eyes any time I think of the girls and boys living in a way no one should have to live. I've been in "homes" where the guardians actually yell and hit the children in front of me. I've experienced the anger, violence, and hatred steeping inside the kids because this is what has been engraved into their mind. I've seen the horrible way young women are treated, even at the young age of 11. Love is rare so these kids become so attached to anyone who will show them any form of friendship or care....it tears me up inside thinking about what goes on the six days of the week I don't see my little sister. I wish I could live right in the community, forget about school, and devote every fiber of my being to showing the kids and their families the love of Christ and the freedom He brings to those who trust in Him.
Last year, I was having a huge battle in my heart about whether or not God wanted me at Moody. I love Moody, but I don't want to teach in any old Christian school. God gave me a fiery passion to work with those who can't afford an education like that - those who need the love of Christ more than they need anything else. When I brought this concern before the Lord, He answered me. I found an organization that has established a Christian school in Watts, the Los Angeles projects. At some point in my life, I would love to teach there.
Right now, God has me studying at Moody. While I'm here, I want to become heavily involved in Cabrini Green and show His love to the people. Though I don't know exactly what God has for my future, He has given me a passion for inner-city children and I will give everything I am to honor Him through this gift!
Patiently pursuing God's plan,
Briana
I've always loved working with kids who live in rough circumstances. Last year, the Lord ignited a passion in my heart for the kids of Cabrini Green. Tears come to my eyes any time I think of the girls and boys living in a way no one should have to live. I've been in "homes" where the guardians actually yell and hit the children in front of me. I've experienced the anger, violence, and hatred steeping inside the kids because this is what has been engraved into their mind. I've seen the horrible way young women are treated, even at the young age of 11. Love is rare so these kids become so attached to anyone who will show them any form of friendship or care....it tears me up inside thinking about what goes on the six days of the week I don't see my little sister. I wish I could live right in the community, forget about school, and devote every fiber of my being to showing the kids and their families the love of Christ and the freedom He brings to those who trust in Him.
Last year, I was having a huge battle in my heart about whether or not God wanted me at Moody. I love Moody, but I don't want to teach in any old Christian school. God gave me a fiery passion to work with those who can't afford an education like that - those who need the love of Christ more than they need anything else. When I brought this concern before the Lord, He answered me. I found an organization that has established a Christian school in Watts, the Los Angeles projects. At some point in my life, I would love to teach there.
Right now, God has me studying at Moody. While I'm here, I want to become heavily involved in Cabrini Green and show His love to the people. Though I don't know exactly what God has for my future, He has given me a passion for inner-city children and I will give everything I am to honor Him through this gift!
Patiently pursuing God's plan,
Briana
Monday, August 24, 2009
Beginning Anew
So my sophmore year of college started today...and I have to say I'm both excited and nervous. Excited because of the new classes, both old and new friends, and the anticipation of all God has for me this year! But nervous because graduation is looming closer and closer, meaning I have so much to do and learn in the next three years. My roommate and I are beginning to realize that college is not fairly represented by freshmen year...college is intense! Tack on a job I don't have yet and the Big Brother Big Sister program and you have an extremely intense yet exciting college career crammed into only three more short years!! But anytime I begin to worry, God's peace flows over me, reminding me that He is in control of EVERYTHING...and for good reason!
The theme of my year is trust. Over the past year God has drastically changed me! Now comes the time when I must put what I have learned into practice. For those of you who know me, I love to be in control! But that's not what God desires for me. He knows every detail of my life and is weaving them together to create a beautilful handiwork fit for His use. So I must surrender to His Hand and allow Him to complete His good work.
As I begin another year, I thank God for what He has already done in my life and the people He has placed in my path to walk alongside me! I look forward to all He has for me this year and the new people I will meet! God is great!
Patiently waiting on God's timing,
Briana
The theme of my year is trust. Over the past year God has drastically changed me! Now comes the time when I must put what I have learned into practice. For those of you who know me, I love to be in control! But that's not what God desires for me. He knows every detail of my life and is weaving them together to create a beautilful handiwork fit for His use. So I must surrender to His Hand and allow Him to complete His good work.
As I begin another year, I thank God for what He has already done in my life and the people He has placed in my path to walk alongside me! I look forward to all He has for me this year and the new people I will meet! God is great!
Patiently waiting on God's timing,
Briana
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