The past two weeks at school have been tough...stressed out about finding a job and dealing with my little sister from Cabrini. I've felt off and I was unable to understand why I was experiencing this inner turmoil and discontent.
Today, I went to study with a friend, but we never got to our homework. Instead we spent over an hour talking and enouraging one another. As we shared about what God is doing in our lives and how He has changed us so much from the people we were at the beginning of freshmen year, I slowly began to realize what the problem was...I had lost sight of God's awesome love and His perfect plan for me! The stress and uncertainty of life from the new girls on my floor, the new brother floor, new classes, and no job drove me to attempt to regain control of my life from God. This planted discontent, turmoil, and unhappiness in my heart. Each day I resisted the Lord, the more these negative attitudes grew and flourished inside of me.
But today, the Lord came in and weeded the garden of my heart! He reminded me no matter how hard I tried, my life will never be my own to control. He created me for His specific purpose here on earth and there is nothing I can do to thwart His plan. He has blessed me so much in ways I never could have comprehended! Why do I continue to resist?
This friend is one of those people who, after talking to them, inspires you to get in the Word and make things right with Lord. When I got back to my room, I sat down and opened to the book of Proverbs. Though my heart was already filled with joy at the answer God had shown me, He wasn't finished filling me. Near the end of Proverbs 4, I read these verses....
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious speech far from you. Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn from the right or to the left..."
- Proverbs 4:23-27
You see, while I was talking to my friend, I explained to her that I viewed each moment, each day as a gift from God and that I needed to keep my eyes fixed on Christ. Then He led me to these verses, which state the point I was trying to make! God is good! He knows me so well, He used this passage to drive home the point!
So these verses are my theme verse. No longer will my heart be ruled by discontent and turmoil. God is and always will be in control of my life. I know I will continue to struggle with this issue, but I will always remember the moment he cleared me heart to see His Sovereign plan through all of the changes in my life!
Praising the Lord for His wonderful timing,
Briana
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